Sorry it's been awhile, daily life is taking too much energy right now. I'm still trying to work from home until the middle of September, at which point I will be going out on medical leave for a minimum of 3 months. It's been difficult. I'm making more and more mistakes (work related), my memory is shot, and by the time I deal with work emails, I can't even look at the computer any longer to update this blog or to read any of yours (sorry in advance). Hopefully, things will improve a bit once work is wrapped up.
I'm scheduled for an MRI (brain scan) the end of this week and going for the initial appt. with the neuro/pysch group next week, so at least those tests will be out of the way before I file for short term disability.
My emotions are all of the place, and I'm afraid it's going to take a bit for that to calm down as well. Exhaustion is almost a blessing sometimes, because if forces my brain to shut off. I've been having more headaches lately and I know that's due to my emotions and stress.
I bounce back and forth with my husband almost daily, I will think he is "on board", but then he will make statements if I say I'm worn out like "well, you were home all day", and it just sends all of those insecurities into overdrive. Yes, I've tried to explain to him, no he does not think he has said anything wrong, I am blowing it out of proportion and making it bigger than it is - apparently.
I actually do look sick at this point, but apparently not sick enough - I'm afraid. Maybe, I am too sensitive about being out of work, and people believing how truly sick I am, but then again maybe I have the right to feel that way right now. I don't know. I considered seeing my counselor but that requires asking for another ride from someone, so instead I just keep hoping for the best.
Sorry this is a bit of a downer of a post, but we all have those days, and I think it's important to not pretend you don't.