Monday, June 14, 2010

Going Over the Edge

I can feel it, I know it's there, I know it's just around the corner.

I'm going over the edge.

I feel almost desperate. Desperate to speak with the "big" boss so I can know if working from home is an option. Desperately thinking that may not be enough. Desperate to find out anything I can about my chances of getting short term disability. Desperately thinking it may turn into longer.

I am beyond exhausted, I am not well at all, sometimes I feel as if I'm dying (no I'm not suicidal - no worries there). Each moment is harder than the last.

I can't do this much longer, my bed is calling me, my body is yelling at me, my time is coming.

I am definately going over the edge.


  1. Dawn if you feel that unwell you have to go home and to bed and try to sort something out from there as best you can. If at all possible let someone else sort it out --- your doctor, husband, a relative ??? because it doesn't sound as if you're really well enough to do it yourself or alone.

    Thinking of you (*)

  2. I agree with Cusp, it's time to stop fighting against it before it totally distroys you! Without your health you will never be able to enjoy your home or relationships or money or yourself ..... everything else in life comes and goes but once your health is gone everything is gone .... you really need to stop and rest NOW before it's just too late ...

  3. Yes, yes, I agree with everyone else! Oh, I know that feeling, when you feel like your body is just going to stop working any second because you've pushed it far too much for far too long. It's awful! And it's a sure sign that you need to stop what you're doing and REST! The more you push yourself, the longer it will take for your body to heal when you finally let it (which you'll have to eventually!) so you might as well start now.

    My thoughts are with you! Take care of yourself, and big hugs as well :) (and thank you for the kind words in your comment!)

  4. Oh my goodness this reminds me of my situation a couple years back... I pushed beyond the point of no return and left work too late... I was a bit better for a few months and then my illness snowballed and became much worse than ever, and I haven't been able to work much since! Working full time now may mean not being able to work later... please leave your work and heal before you become housebound like I did!