Monday, June 7, 2010

Took Some Time Off

I took a few days off last week and honestly it made coming into work today much harder. I've already been hit with stress and conflict this morning and it's VERY early in the day.

I overdid it a bit on Saturday and the cough and low grade fever has returned. My dad made the comment that I shouldn't be at work with a fever - this almost makes me laugh, if only I could take off every day I have a low grade fever life would be wonderful - but that would be the disability route I'm afraid.

I haven't written that option off, it still rides around in the back of my mind. I may have another alternative though, it might be possible for me to work from home more often but I need to wait it out a bit (if my body allows).

Honestly, some days I feel as if I'm waiting for my body to collapse, for my brain to give in, for the fall that I can feel coming. Then my body fools me and there is the rare day where I think I'm getting better, I feel a bit better, only to be reminded shortly it's not so. I suppose this is the wonder that is CFS.


  1. I know how much you need to go to work for all the reasons you've outlined but your last few sentences really worry me. They worry me because I kept on going, waiting for my body to collapse, to pack in so that there was no option but to give up work ....and guess what ? : my body handed me my 'wish' on a plate. Please try to find some way, any way to let your body have some rest. Can you not take some leave /holiday ?

    I know you must do what you have to do and the situation is difficult and complicated but the haul back to better health is further and more difficult the further you get from wellness.

  2. Cusp -

    I know your right - trust me - these thoughts sit in the back of my mind also. I'll follow up in my post tomorrow.

    As always - thanks!

  3. DITTO to cusp ... I am sure I would not have fallen so far if only I'd not kept pushing myself in the beginning .... now its too late and I have lost far more than I needed to ....

    I hope you make the right decision!!