Monday, July 26, 2010

Let's Discuss Relationships..........

As we all know, the divorce rate is quite high for couples facing chronic illness. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that numbers probably even higher when faced with "hidden" chronic illnesses.

However, I also believe that some of those marriages (at least) had to have been a bit cracked previously, like mine.

I'm not sure if my relationship is changing or if I'm just noticing the cracks more. However, things are going downhill for me. I'm tired of being cut off and yelled at. I'm tired of being told I'm trying to start a fight, or he's ill because of x,y and z, and that I always have to take things so literally. I ask you, how else do you take something someone says to you? My husband is at least borderline emotionally abuse, this is not news to me, but is becoming more up front in my mind.

I had a bad weekend if you can't tell.

I am becoming resentful. Resentful, that I'm still carrying so much "weight" but everything I can't do is pointed out to me. Resentful, that other husbands find a way to take care of their spouse when they are sick (financially or otherwise). Resentful, by his actions and words.

So yeah, what's already cracked - is more easily to break. I think that's what happens.

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