Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Change is in place............

I went to my specialist appt. yesterday and was informed:

1. I am NOT allowed to drive (agree but sad to have to lose that)

2. My work should being preparing for my departure onto long term disability (if available - which it is, if they approve the claim) or permanent disability.

3. For the time being I can only work from home, the hope is that this will allow my company time to redistribute my duties etc. (Not sure how this will work out, but I did pick up my laptop yesterday and am working from home the remainder of this week at least.)

4. If I think I can only go out on short term disability, I am in denial. (Anyone else waving from denial land???)

So yeah, things are changing. I told my work, for all the big bosses to get together and figure out what was best for them. I am happy to work from home as long as I can but with no additional salary decrease and with continued benefit eligibility, however, I don't realistically see how that is possible, because I am limited on what I can do from here......so we will see what they decide.

I should have in my hands a letter from my doctor to the business owners by Wednesday or Thursday which will give me a better idea of how "stern" my doctor is being with them, and how quickly he feels this transition should take.

I am also being scheduled for a MRI and neuropysch evaluation in the very near future.

I did learn how to give myself the B-12 injections yesterday and did have a small boost in "feeling better" and thinking after about 6 hours for about 2 hours - so I will take that over nothing, maybe I can at least to pay my bills or something without messing that up. LOL.

So yes, change is in place. It's scary, it's uncertain, it is what it is.

My husband IS concerned now, and has gone from denial to overprotective. (I'm glad he's on board, just hoping he is still not in denial land and hoping I will get better soon.........)

We will discuss weight tomorrow ... eek!


  1. Well it's all enormous, life-changing change and no doubt very scary for you and those around you atm but it is 'good' change because at least now more people are 'getting it' or being forced to 'get it'. It also means that a new situation is being put in place where your health can take priority rather than everything else and you'll be in a more protective environment and that may enable you to move forward.

    Thinking of you (*)

  2. Cusp -
    First, thanks for always understanding, and for being the smart one to remind me of the good in everything.

    I do have a sense of relief regarding more people "getting it", and I am more protected this way. I'm taking it one day at a time......

  3. What a relief .... but also a huge sense of loss and grief etc, I know! Not at all surprised by your husbands behaviour, glad he is on board. Your hubby may of course take a different path but my personal experiense was when the people close to me finally go it they went into hyper protective mode and then onto shear panic and then they went onto major anger which got misdirected at me ... it was actually just general anger that this had happened and I wasn't getting better, I had many angry outbursts like 'your Dr is an idiot, otherwise you'd be getting better by now'. You have to remember that you have spent the last few months freaking out and slowly accepting this, your husband is still right at the begining of that process. It sounds like he is certainly on your side, but do give him time to catch up to where you are emotionally.

  4. Lee Lee -

    Wow thanks for that wonderful insight. It makes perfect sense and yes he is currently in hyper over-protective mode.

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