Thanks so much for your comments and sharing your experiences related to my last post.
I do think "giving up" is the wrong term, I think my frustration and having to deal with my own feelings surrounding this led me that term initially but now I do know that it's not giving up, it's simply accepting the reality of the situation.
I do hope to be able to return to work, but don't know how or when and for the moment just have to take it day by day.
Meanwhile, on Tuesday at work I completely screwed up the billing, transposed multiple numbers, missed pieces that needed to be billed, it's the worst job I've ever done at it. My main supervisor literally has a million post it notes all over. I was honest and showed him how I had picked up incorrect numbers and transposed others, no use in hiding it any longer. This is not acceptable and just another sign.
I'm nervous but also somewhat at peace, it's an odd feeling, like I don't have to pretend any longer and worry that I'm going to get caught. I am doing the best I can for the moment and I realize I'm doing my job a disservice now as well.