So I made one mistake with this new schedule. Somehow (brain fog maybe) I didn't realize this means I have to work almost 9 hours on the days I'm here. Not smart - but it's done for now. I figure I won't be asking for much more, until I go out for a break anyway.
Have not called my specialist yet, he just got back in the country on Monday, so I'm trying to give him a few days to catch up. I will try to call him either tomorrow or Thursday. I'm a bit afraid to be honest, that he's going to sign me out immediately. Why can I just not accept it? Why do I continue to fight what I know my body needs? Why do I continue to deny what I know is going to happen? Why do I have to be so frigging AFRAID that my std carrier will deny my claim?
I know I need the rest, there is no doubt about that. What if I don't get better though? I know these are all questions we all have to face, I'm sure most of you went through this, and now on the other side are just shaking your head at me, telling me it's for the BEST. Trust me - I am listening.